Juggling Blackbirds
by Ryuuza
Summary: There are some things Raenef will never tell Eclipse. Like how he fell in love. EAR5, one-shot.


_Author's Notes:_ Because it's been forever since I've written for DD; a fic was long overdue. So, I hope you enjoy. ACID is on a hiatus of undetermined length…I'm really busy right now with RL as well as Stress Relief and some other one-shot fic ideas. If inspiration strikes, you'll be the first to know, and I really hate abandoning fics, so don't completely give up on ACID yet. Just…have lots of patience with me. x.x;;

-All my love to **Nightengale13** who was the wonderful beta for this story. XD Any remaining mistakes are mine alone except for the "violet eyes." Yes, I'm aware that in DD7, they say Eclipse has violet eyes, but for Nightengale's sake (and really, it's my personal preference too), his eyes shall remain "crimson." 'Cause it's just so much hotter that way… drool

_Warnings:_ Shounen-ai (boy love), semi-angsty (or maybe it's just fluff trying to pretend to be angst)

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Demon Diary or the poem (it's Mother Goose's, I believe) or this font or this site or…yeah… I don't own much.

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**Juggling Blackbirds**

by Ryuuza

-

_Seven blackbirds in a tree_

_Count them and see what they be _

-

_One for sorrow_

Well, it wasn't as if there were formal introductions. It was only a quick glimpse, a rather startled second look, and a memory of inky-black hair. So uncommon in the South, the sun-baked land that fashioned golden skin and golden hair. I'd been running with my friends, my fellow thieves, eluding a city guard with breathless laughter.

And there he was.

The memory burned in my mind still.

My friends and I had been pottering around, wandering about aimlessly. I'd been playing with a little puppy, bright-eyed and innocent, too trusting to know that everyone, even the animals of the town, loathed us. The Thieves' Guild. There'd been idle talk about what the guild was going to do next, some big heist that the boss had planned, speculative chatter and relaxed bodies under a lazy sun.

Then the woman of the house had shouted and the guards were alerted and we'd spread, instantly, like tumbleweeds to the wind.

I hated the guards, hated the intolerance and selfishness they stood for, but sometimes I loved the thrill that raced through me as I darted away from them, too fast to be caught.

I'd ducked through a partly blocked off passageway, unnoticed and laughing. There had been only a moment's break in my pace when I first caught glimpse of him, an instant of hesitation while I caught my breath and stared at the imposing figure regaling the golden land with his presence. Then ingrained instinct had bade me to flee and I pounded off, dust rising after me, the brief glance leaving me unsettled and stirring something like vague memory in my mind.

Even after I darted through the familiar alleyways, even for a long time after I'd reached our hideout and had collapsed in a happy exhaustion among my friends, the picture of the dark-haired, pale-skinned man remained in my mind.

The features were unforgettable, beautiful, striking some chord within me that resonated in my soul.

-

_Two for joy_

I'm pretty sure I had a home once, and parents, too, but it'd all been taken away from me while I was too young to remember, haunted only be screams and death and fear. I was orphaned young and remained homeless for a long time after.

The Thieves' Guild had always been more of a temporary layover, a place to stay while I tried to figure out what else I could do with my life. It had a lot of the characteristics of the home I wanted, like a figure to look up to, friends who were depended on like brothers, bonding, laughing, closeness. But things were always too uncertain—meals were never regular, the threat of any of us being caught and killed—there were always constant uncertainty that ate away at the edges of my rose-colored dream.

But Eclipse…he gave me the first home I remembered.

He saved me from the guards when I'd so impulsively spoken up to defend my leader. He made a claim for me before them all, a demon so high-ranking, so intimidating, so fearsome for his cruelty during the Hangma War, and he defended me to "insignificant mortals."

His greatness I discovered only later, but even in the few worldly experiences I'd had up until then I'd recognized that he was greater than anyone I'd ever encountered before. He was a figure with a great deal of dignity and pride and with reasons for it beyond my wildest flight of fancy. And he bowed before me and kissed my hand.

"I call you 'sire' because you are my liege."

He took me back with him, a hazy memory of violets and mist, black shadows and new hope, an enormous castle with marble halls, scents of red roses and caresses of silk… My dreams for the longest time, in the grandest bed I'd ever known, layered lavishly with silk drapes, were always of him.

Eclipse gave me everything. I never wanted to let him down.

-

_Three for a girl_

"Terrorize, torture, and terminate terribly! You understand that 'terminate' means _kill them_, do you not?" Eclipse demanded in exasperation. He glared at me, his liege.

It wasn't so much that he was angry (though I really hated making him angry) as that there was a sheen of disappointment in those crimson eyes. Guilt assailed me like an arrow shot into my most tender spots; it pained me with every motion and made even standing still under Eclipse's gaze uncomfortable.

I couldn't stand to look him in the eye. "I know that, but…" I said softly, feeling horrible. I wished I'd done things right, had brought a gleam of pride or at least satisfaction to his expression, rather than this awful combination of rage, exasperation, and stinging disappointment. But I really hated killing things…

I'd hate to leave anyone without someone in the world, like the world had left me.

"No buts! You should've killed that thing immediately. Demon lords do not show mercy!"

A slant of white-gold sunlight haloed him as he lectured me, the fair weather only making me more miserable. Eclipse would've been happier with an overcast day, near dripping with dark, ominous clouds and a threatening rumble or two of thunder. I probably would've been too… Well, anything that made Eclipse happy I was only too glad to like as well.

But now that the knight had already been spared, it was better not to do any more killing, right?

"Erutis is my new page!" I burst out, wringing my hands. I looked at my teacher anxiously.

He looked stunned. My heart turned when he spoke, voice heavy and dark enough to summon storm clouds regardless of Nature's preferences. "You took a knight as a page?" he asked me slowly, eyes narrowing. "That's preposterous."

I bit my lip and felt tears well in my eyes.

Gods, had I really— Had I let him down? Totally shamed him? What had I done to make him speak to me like that?

I never wanted to disappoint you, Eclipse, I thought, staring at the well-kept ground of the garden.

But, while I wallowed in misery, he'd sighed and said, "As you wish, then."

And I was struck by his devotion again. How willing he was to sacrifice all he considered right and proper and dignified—to cater to…me.

Maybe it started to mean something to me that I wasn't quite ready for.

-

_Four for a boy_

"You! You're a demon lord, aren't you?"

Those were the first words Chris ever spoke to me. He probably didn't know at the time how accurate he was—though I was sure he'd like to have known. He sort of scared me at first, always shouting and carrying on like he did. And, honestly, attacking me with a Holy Bolt—that was completely uncalled for. I'd been having a perfectly pleasant conversation with that other old man…

Though I figured out later he was High Cleric of the Temple of Rased and it probably hadn't been all that proper and decent for a demon lord to be going around having pleasant conversations with them…

When I'd wandered off on my own to become a great demon lord without Eclipse's help, to do him proud without constantly disappointing him, I'd gone East. Maybe it was because it reminded me of the South—sunny and golden-brown, but friendly and well-off as compared to the place where I'd grown up. The East was crowded with many more people than I was accustomed to; it was also cooler, tempered by sea-blown winds and well watered with heavy rains.

I rather liked the place and it had taken me completely by surprise when I'd been summoned to the High Temple by some boy I'd never seen. I'd been scared and confused, uncomprehending as to why I was suddenly somewhere else than where I'd been two seconds ago.

The fact that Chris knew I was a demon lord but looked shocked when I'd admitted it and the old man who refused to believe me and spoke to me with a patronizing air… All that culminated when Chris had attacked me (unprovoked, I swear, I don't remember saying anything to make him mad) with a divine power meant to kill.

And then all of Eclipse's teachings had flooded back into my mind and crowded my fear against the back corner of my mind, and for the briefest of moments, I was clear on exactly what I should do. But the moment was only fleeting and when panic overtook me again, I stammered out the defense mechanism that had been drilled into me since the beginning and had ingrained itself in my reflexes.

"Dark Arrow!"

It saved me, I think, but the entire experience was too rushed and hazy for me to recall with perfect clarity. All I remembered was that the second time Chris tried to kill me, Eclipse was there. _He_ saved me.

He always did. Just like he always found me, wherever I ran.

And then when Chris was presented to me by that old man, and I, not knowing any better, took him back to the castle with me, Eclipse accepted him. He was furious and I was the recipient of an irritated lecture for near two hours, but while he questioned both my sanity and intelligence, he never made a move to undo my actions. Chris had now joined Erutis in the castle and a family I'd never pictured began to form.

-

_Five for silver_

One of the things I treasured more than anything in this world, over all the things a demon lord was entitled to, over the gold and the jewels and the sacrifices made by fear-clutched people with haunted eyes, was a promise.

Eclipse gave it to me and I'd never let him take it back.

I asked him once, while the sun bled streaks of crimson gold fire along the western sky, staring across the vast realm that was mine and thinking on my desire to be the greatest demon lord ever (for him, always for him), "Can you stay with me forever?"

Because I didn't want to do this if he wasn't there.

And he'd said, softly, words painted with the same deep-running emotion that made the sky cry, "Forever…if you wish."

-

_Six for gold_

I could never, ever forget the day Eclipse chose me over his former master—the one he'd respected so much, whose greatness far surpassed anything I could even dare to dream of possessing—and stepped in front of _me_, childish and inexperienced and fumbling and unsure, desperately trying but always falling short… He stepped in front of me and he protected me.

He chose _me_.

He risked his life to protect _me_.

And when I'd cried out, protesting, knowing that I couldn't live with myself if he was ever hurt—or worse—because of me, he turned to face me, looking me in the eyes. "The master I serve," he said quietly, lifting a slender hand to my cheek, "is you."

I lost my ability to breathe then, seeing things in his eyes that I could only hope I wasn't dreaming up.

"I exist only for you," he continued, so serious in this paused moment hanging in the fragile time between life and death and war. "I pledged my life. If necessary, I will give it."

It hurt me to even think about that. And at that moment, I still wanted to open my mouth, to plead with him, to ask him to think it over, to choose something else, anything else, so I wouldn't be faced with the prospect of losing him in this deserted, barren land laid to waste by the demonic powers of Raenef IV.

But then he smiled at me, a soft, gentle smile that warmed his eyes, a smile I didn't think I'd ever seen on him before, and he whispered, "I trust you."

_The greatest gift that a servant gives his master is his trust._

I never once considered him my servant.

-

_Seven for a secret_

_That's never been told_

Eclipse shared a small, secretive chuckle with me.

I beamed back at him. "I did okay, right?" His praise had been something I'd been seeking so long, sometimes futilely it seemed, chasing after an ephemeral dream. But now, now that I was finally a true demon lord, fully possessed of my own powers, a combination of the two parts of me and the previous Lord Raenef, I could finally achieve my most cherished wish.

"Yes," he replied, "you did very well." Again, he smiled down at me and a warm feeling suffused me. I'd done it. He'd praised me.

"Really?" I asked, just to be sure. I wanted to hear him say it again.

He led me away from the Conference of Demon Lords. "Yes," he confirmed. My heart soared. Finally.

"Eclipse?"

We couldn't teleport because we were out of my realm, so there were horses. "Mm?" He looked over at me as a servant began saddling our steeds. I watched the sun filter through the trees above us—this realm was far less arid than mine—and cast patches of light on his tall, elegant figure. I struggled to sort out the words, the find the appropriate ones to express my thoughts…

He turned his head more fully, a movement that caused his features to be highlighted fully by the light. I stared up at those crimson eyes.

"Yes, Master Raenef?" He looked slightly concerned that I wasn't speaking.

I could hear the soft whinnies of the horses as they were saddled and the soothing noises the servant made at them. There was a small stamp or two from impatient hooves and a toss of a black mane.

"Is there something you need to tell me, Raenef?" Eclipse finally asked, and it was enough of a breach of etiquette on his part to address me without a title that I started from my thoughts. My heart was beating furiously, fluttering in my chest.

"Ah—" The words still wouldn't come. "…No," I finally said softly, dropping my gaze from his. "It's…nothing." He looked concerned and a little puzzled but respected my decision with a short nod. The servant called to us as politely as he could that our horses were ready for mounting.

It was the first time I'd lied to Eclipse.

But how could I tell him?

So we rode and I was silent the entire way back, uncharacteristically so.

I never meant to fall in love with Eclipse. I mean, it was accidental. But then, was falling in love with someone ever intentional? It wasn't like you took out a journal and planned: today I will fall in love with so-and-so and we will have a volatile, melodramatic relationship for three months until I realize that I can't stand the way he patronizes me and dump him. Then I'll fall in love with this other so-and-so…but two weeks seems a bit too soon after, so maybe in another month after the breakup.

It might be more convenient that way but, unfortunately, that isn't the way our hearts work.

I didn't know what exactly it was about Eclipse that made me fall for him. I'd had friends before, certainly, in the Thieves' Guild for example, so I didn't think it was just that he extended his hand to me in friendship.

But maybe it _was_ that he'd extended a hand in friendship…when he shouldn't have. He'd taught me and tolerated me and grown used to me and cared for me and searched for me when I was lost and… All this when he should've stayed impartial, when all he should've done was taught me to be a proper demon lord.

He'd been assigned to me as a mentor, but he'd chosen to cross the line and become my friend.

He'd even chosen me over his former master.

He'd tolerated Erutis and Chris staying with us in the castle, entirely inappropriate behavior caused by circumstances I'd brought about, he'd learned to smile at me, he'd protected me from Lord Krayon's attacks, he hadn't given up hope on me when I was lazy or completely clueless. He'd searched for me…twice…when I was gone, and brought me back. To him.

And all of this, I guess, is what had moved my heart to fall in love with him.

Ah, what to do? I still didn't know if demon lords were even allowed to love. Was it against some sort of rule? But, even if it was, there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't force myself to change the way I felt about Eclipse. I didn't want to. It was…a precious thing to me, my love for him.

I wondered what he'd do if he knew. I wondered how he'd feel, how he felt now. I wondered if…maybe…

He promised to stay with me forever.

I'd…tell him. Someday.

-

_Seven blackbirds in a tree_

_Count them and see what they be_

-

_end_

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_Notes:_ Y've been meaning to write this for a while. I really don't know why I chose this random poem. I'm weird. I wanted a better ending to DD7 than they gave me mutters at the total cop-out but I decided I'd write a fic instead of attempting to sue. XP A thank you to all who've reviewed any of my fics (especially my MMD, Queer, Unpretty, Heaven Bred, and ALSR, they're the most precious to me huggle); I love you so much!! Reviews totally make my day. XD So thank you very very much and continue to review because it makes me very very happy.


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